(Un) If you had controlling parents

p. xvi After we are grown, our controlling parents may still treat us as children. More frustratingly, we may feel as helpless as children when we're around our parents. We may struggle to get closer to--or find greater distance from--a controlling parent. We may even come to understand their motivation for controlling us, yet be at a lose about reconciling that knowledge with our lingering hurt, disappointments, or anger.

p.xxii
1. You aren't responsible for what your parents did to you, they are.
2. You are responsible for what you do with your life now, your parents aren't.

Unlike your parents, you have a choice. You can heal your wounds rather than ignore or hide from them. You can transcend the cycle of control rather than perpetuate it.

p.11 "It' s all in the past, so what good does it do to go over it?"
While exploring a painful childhood can initially seems to make you r life more difficult, it will eventually help you to enjoy a healthier present and future. Your sense of self can change. Your relationship with your parents can change. Your willingness to be yourself despite others' diapproval can change.

(Up to p.14)