Real sex for real women (2-1)

Sex is what separates lovers and friends. It is what makes a marriage more than just a partnership and parenthood ...
Those of us who have encountereed a lackluster sex life know that lack of passion can kill a relationship. Even when everything else is on track... poor secual pleasure can throw a wrench in your relationship dynamic.
That being said, great sex doesn't happen overnight, and if we were honest, most of us would hav to admit that life is not always perfect between the shhets. Whether you aren't getting enough foreplay or you feel your partner isn't adventurous enough, there is peobably something about your sex life that you like to improve.
... I know that you're unbelievably busy. I know that some days you barely have time to eat a decent meal, let alone don complicated lingerie and cook a candlelit dinner for your partner. .. I'm going to help you figure out your own suxal needs and become acquanted with your own suxal potential. ... You might have to contront some of your fears and face down some of your insecurities. ...
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Sex Matters
p.11 Sex is a fundamenatal part of humanity and your sexuality is an essential part of your womanhood. Learn how to harness your sexual energy and use it to become a creative and happy person. To dony our ties to sexuality and our need or sexual fulfillment is to deny our existence. ... Understanding and accepting your sexuality will lead you to pleasure, confidence, and a fulfilling, intimate relationship with your lover.
p.12 Woever you are,. whatever your circumstances or age, sex is vital to your emotional well-being, self-esteem, health, and relationships.

If you understand your sexuality, you accept your sexual feelings, are able to express your desires to your lover, and find that sex adds intimacy to your relationship.

p.14 The true "Afterglow" of sex might be that you feel more beauftiful and loved after a great session with your lover, and those positive feelings spur you on to greater achievements in your career and personal endeavors.
The problem is that some women don't put a high value on their sexuality. Male pleasure often takes precedence in the bedroom, and even the bravest of owomen may fear asking for something different or new from their partner. Women worry their partner might be offended or think they are being bossy and dominerring; wore,they think their sexual demands suggest the extent of heir experience in th bedroom. Consequently, some women never find out whtt arouses them.
If you want to reclaim your sexuality and enjoy a healthy sex life, you will need a few tools. Confidence in yourself is mandatory, so spend time caring for your body and finding out how it works.
Your sexual needs evolve depending on your circumstances, and should be kept under review. In other words, if you and your partner are still making the same moves in your 50s that worked in your 20s, don't be surprised if your sex life is not as satisfying as it could be.

p.16 Male sexuality. Keeping high levels of intimacy, talking to your man about his feelings, and making him feel good about himself will enhance your emotional and, consequently, exual connection. So you both need to express your sexual desires.
This is important, because most men also need to know they are satisfyng their partner. Sexual performance is a vital part of a man's self-esteem, and sexual longevity and prowess are key issues for most men. However, a man's need to satisfy his partner can sometimes create anxiety and tension in the bedroom--while he feels under pressure to be a great lover, his partner worries that she must have an orgasm to avoid huring his feelings. ... Tell him you want to relax and enjoy sensations. Let him know that it is not the orgasm but the intimacy and connection to the person she is having sex with that determines a woman's sexual satisfaction.

p.18 Male and female sexual differences
When a man sees a sexy image--such as their partner beding over to clean the bath or a glimpse of her naked flesh--he is aroused and may respond by pressing himself against her and wanting sex urgently. Women can also be aroused by visual stimuli, but tend to need more kinesthetic ones--such as stroking, kissing, and cuddling--to reach a point of wanting to have sex.
Men love the immediacy of a rousal and the seduction of their owman into the bedroom. Women, on the other hand, tend to enjoy the prolonged intimacy of cuddling, stroking , and kissing. Men tend to wake up with an erection, whereas women tend to prefer nighttime sex after they have relaxed, or had a bath.

Women take longer to become aroused and achieve orgasm because we are not as goal-oriented as men. Women's brains have evolved to be more adapted to multitasking, and this means we cannot zoon from zero to 50 in under 5 minutes. ... It also means that enjoying sex can be a bit of a strugglw for us. It is harder for us to detach from our worries and simply enjoy sex. .. Men find it easier to disengage from their worries and revel in the pleasure of sex, which is why it is important for our partners to understand that we need foreplay and extra time to enjoy sex.

p.20 Sex and intimacy
Sex and intimacy are closely loinked in our brains, but men and women respond differently to intamacy. Many men can't feel intimate with their partner unless their sex life is satisfying, but many women can't enjoy sex without intaimacy. For men, sex feeds intimacy, and for women, intimacy feeds sex. These sexual differences can be disruptive to your relationship so it is important to rourish your sex lfie with intimacy.

First love to familiarrity
When you first met your lover, chances are you were overwhelmed with sensations of excitement, bliss, and somoldering desire. When you fall in love , your brain releases chemicals such as serotonin, adrenaline, and oxytocin. These chemicals create feelings of excitement and passion. As time goes by, and you become more comfortable together, your desire wanes and you stop having as much sex. This phase also tends to involve a loss of spark.
This happens because, over time, your brain becomes accustomed to these chmicals and requires more hormone to create hte initial high.

p.22 Making time for sex.
If, like many women, you place sex at the bottom of your to-do list, it might be time to review your priorities to make time for sex in your life.
1. Delegate: extend your time.
Prioritize your task. Use technology to make your life easier.
Talk to your partner about sharing a few of the household chores--maybe he won't do than as you would, but the laundry gets done adn the bdes made. Delegate a few home respomsbilitie to your kids.
2. Decrease: simplify
Make your life easier wherever and whever possible.Learn t o say "no" more often. Sute up boundaries to protect your emotonal and physical well-being. Don't agree to host every family function or oliday part at your place.
3. Disengage: recconect with you
For many women, a lack of time isn't the nly problem--we find it hard to relax, too, even when we do have a few moments to ourselves. Ths is where exercise is helpful. Take 5 minutes every day to sit calmly, breathe deeply and calm your mind.

Quit waiting for the perfect life
What personal happiness or fulfillment are you delaying for perfection? Now is the absolute best time to seek your own happiness. It means stop living for the future and live for today. Don't delay your happiness until some non-existent utopia finds you. Focus on the present..

Rediscover your single self
It means finding time to reconeect with the woman you used to be--the one your partner fell in love with. Make time for old interests, forgotten girlfriends, and grooming rituals. Have a spa or beauty treatment. Look at photographs of yourself and your partner and reminisce about when you first met. Lie down and daydream about having sex just the way you want it. Activities such as these recharge your independence and reconnect you to your femininity.

p.26 Sec file: Making time for sex.
Make an inflexible, must-keep appointment in which she would spend 5 hours a week on "me" time. This could be having her nails done, watching television, going for a walk, reading a book, or taking a nap.
Couples should plan a romantic getaway. Although family trips build great memories, parents also need adult-only breaks in which they can get out of parenting mode and back into being partners and lovers.
Spend "alone" time together every day. This could simply be sharing a glass of wine or talking over a meal. Share time and connect emotionally again. Don't fall into the trap of talking about work or domestic issues.
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Know Your Body
To get in tune with your sexuality,, you first need to connect with your body and appreciate the beauty of your womanhood, inside and out. Fears and anxieties about your body will only hold you back. A clear understanding of how your sexual responses work will help, and a positive genital self-image will enhance your love life. Self=knowledge and effective techniques for self-pleasure will also teach you what stimulation you need from your sex life, and how to get it.

The first step to a healthy sex life is a good anatomy lesson: get to know the dimensions of your genitals, and explore how different areas repond to stimulation. Knowledge is power, so let us apply that power to sex.

p.34 Female anatomy
As with most women, your two labia majora will probably be of different sizes, like your breasts. They are rich in blood vessells and nerve endings.
Many women enjoy hhaving their labia rubbed, sroked, touched, and licked. When aroused, the labia fill with blood and become swollen, causing your genitals to tighten on your partner's penis.

The labia minora, or inner labia, are very sensitive to touch and oral stimulation. When aroused, the labia minora secrete sebum, which luubricates the vagina.
The labia minora come in many different colors, sizes, and shapes, and this is completely natural, healthy, and sexy.
The clitoral head is filled with many rich nerve endings--more than any other part of the body, apart from the lips. Many women prefer their clitoris to be stimulated indirectly--through material or the labia--rather than via direct pressure, sice it is often a super-sensitive part of their anatomy.
Surrounding the urethra is the periurethral sponge, which is also rich in nerve endings. Many women find it arousing to stimulate the area around the urethra.

Stronger vaginal muscles lead to better orgasms, but only the first third of the vagina is sensitive--good news for men who worry their penis is not large enough to please.

G-spot is located about 2 inches inside the vagina. To find it, insert a finger and hook it toward your belly button, as if gesturing for omeone to come closer. You will find a spongy bump that some women compare to feeling the tip of their nose. When the G-spot is stimulated, you might feel an urge to urinate--one way of knowing you've found it. This feeling generally passes.

The perineum is located between the vaginal opening and the anus. It is filled with tiny nerve endings, which feel wonderful when pleasured. The perineal sponge, which is located unerneath the perineum, is also filled with numerous nerve endings, and many women find it very arousing when pressure is applied to this area.

p.40 Connecting with your body. And the sexist women are those who are comfortable in their skin, confident in their sexuality, and uninhibited in the bedroom. Remember that your sex appeal is all of you--the way you walk and talk, your expressions, and your body language.
Pass on your positive views about your body to your daughters and granddaughters, adn they will fgrow up in a much more positive environment, which embraces all types of beauty.

p,46 Masturbatin for women
Masturbation is a natural aprt of human sexuality, and an important facet of a healthy sex life. Regular orgasn help decrease stree, increase genital blood flow, and promote a better sexual response. You have sexual needs that require satisfying, and masturbation is a relable path to fulfilment, as well as educating yourself about your body. Masturbation will also help you learn about your sexual response--knowledge that you can use to enhance lovemaking sessions with your partner.
Contrary to many people's beliefs, masturbatino is a healthy sexual behavior. However, many women feel uncomfortable about it. But whoever you are, whether you admit it or not, everybody masturbates.
Zeron in on your erogenous zones--breasts, nipples, inner thighs, torso, and stomach. Discover what body part sends chills down your spine. Gently tickle and caress your inner thighs, massage your breasts, and stimulate your nipples. Listen to your body and discover what erotic zones raise your heart rate and get you excited.
Try rubbing different parts of your genitals. Experiment with different typles of movement--up and down, back and forth, round and round.

p.48 Masturbation for men.
Masturbaiting is a pleasurable solo purrsuit for a man, but it also has the benefit of improving the sex you have with him. This i sbecause regular self-love sessions build up his stamina and result in more powerful and prolonged orgasms. And being open with your partner about your self-love practices can bring you closer together.
If you and your partner have never spoken about your sexual needs or preferences, then talking about masturbation will open the door to other sexual discussions.